i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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