I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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