ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
