I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
