I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
