just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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