If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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