Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
