I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
