So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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