i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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