I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
