just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
