I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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