Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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