yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
