billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
