I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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