I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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