Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
