mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
