Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
