No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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