I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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