I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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