so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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