You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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