I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
