Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
