I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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