You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
