the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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