Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
