You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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