My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
