party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
