Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
