Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
