Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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