we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
