There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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