He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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