its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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