I want to walk on stilts...naked
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
