this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
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No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
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well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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