Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
