HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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