So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
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It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?