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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  so you're single again?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  yea but it was worth it

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Oh good your over him

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  The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women

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• (585): View more from New York

  If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.

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