i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
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Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.