I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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