I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
