well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
