He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
