She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize