i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
