so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize