i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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