please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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