Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize