I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
