Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
