the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we made out on top of his cat.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
