So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
