he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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